Lately I’ve been missing my daughter a little more easily than usual. I’m not sure what it is, but even if I’m upstairs doing laundry and she’s downstairs playing with her daddy I miss her. I immediately want her to be in the room with me even if that means her messing up my neatly folded laundry and extending the time it takes for me to fold, as she will adamantly have to sit in my lap while I do so.
At almost 15 months old she seems to already be growing up too quickly. She’s soon moving from the infant room to the toddler room at daycare (something that brings tears to my eyes even thinking about) and I can see her starting to want to do the things that mommy is doing. Not as interested in her toys as much as she used to be, she prefers watching and mimicking my actions instead. She wants to open the dishwasher, put things in her laundry basket, or throw something away in the garbage. She is taking joy in doing “big girl” things and in a way I think this has drawn us closer.
As she does these things I catch myself just watching her with pride and amazement as she grows and I find myself drawn to her every move and sound. She always wants to be with mommy and I always want to be with my best girl. Sometimes I’m even afraid I squeeze her just a little too tight between all of our snuggles and cuddles. I just can’t get enough of her.
Since she has been in this world my time away from her typically doesn’t get to me that much, unless I’m away for extended periods, like traveling for work. I’ve actually taken quite nicely to the combination of work and motherhood, though trying to find the balance between the two has been rough at times. I get my adult interaction during the day and get excited to come home to my family at night. And I’ve always been a big supporter of spending some mommy time away, so I can get a pedicure, shop, or connect with girlfriends over a yummy latte, and come home feeling recharged again.
Then the other day I was out on the weekend for a few hours and found myself in a crabby mood. I was letting certain people and things get to me and all of the sudden I just wanted to be home with my family and snuggling my baby girl. I wanted to be home with that safe and secure family unit. Home where the sound of baby girl giggles and pitter pattering feet on the kitchen floor warm my heart…I missed my baby and felt guilty for being away from her even just for those few hours.
It’s so hard to miss your children even when they are just in the other room isn’t it? As a mother, when you feel that void your instinct is to want to be with them all the time, but you know they also need time away from you to grow, play, socialize, and learn. I think that will be a push/pull feeling we will feel forever and it’s a roller coaster ride when those feelings kick in more strongly on certain days.
So for those moms who are missing your little ones today know you are not alone. Some of you might be away for only and hour, others might be away for awhile, and others might be just upstairs. Either way you are normal for missing them and they love you. We tend to beat ourselves up as mothers when we have to be away from our babies, whether it be going to work, taking a vacation, or even going to the salon to freshen up our highlights. We feel like we should to be the ones to do everything for them and be there for them all the time, not taking time away for ourselves. I’m sure the reason your away is a valid one and you can take comfort in knowing you are a good mom, because you worried about being away in the first place.